GUIDING LIGHT OLIVIA & NATALIA
- “OTALIA”
31/03/09 Much attention has been gathering once
more around the soap opera airing on CBS, “Guiding Light”, and the
news is good considering how ratings almost got the show cancelled
not so many months ago. The reason behind all of this attention? A love story budding between two of
the main characters: Olivia Spencer (Emmy winner actress Crystal Chappell)
and Natalia Rivera (Jessica Leccia). A love story which still hasn’t
reached its top, but that has been built with grace and gentleness
by the writers, so much that its development has a natural flow, with
“normal” schedules, contrary to the usual modus
operandi of soap operas, where time is generally sped up and the
first date ends in the bedroom, plus within the following two months
– at most – we witness marriage and an overly expected divorce. With Otalia (for the newbies: contraction
and union of the two names: Olivia and Natalia) things didn’t go that
way. Let’s start from the beginning. When Olivia’s character meets Natalia,
they are not friends, quite the opposite: they’re rivals in love,
both aspiring to win the interest of detective Gus Aitoro. Natalia
(a recently added cast member) is Gus’ old fiancée and, more or less
twenty years ago, even gave birth to his son, of which he knows nothing.
The story between them start again from where it was left uncompleted:
Gus marries Natalia and takes responsibility for the now teenager
Rafe. In the meantime Olivia falls in love with Gus, with whom she
built a strong friendship; the feeling evolves into love – at least
for the woman – when, given Olivia’s severe health condition and heart
failure, Gus starts taking care of her (this devotion, by the way,
causes him problems with his new wife). When Olivia’s condition worsens to
the point that only a transplant can save her, Gus promises to help.
And it’s on his way to the hospital, to tell her about a possible
donor, that his destiny takes its course. In spring 2008, due to a
bad motorbike accident, he is taken to the hospital in critical conditions;
this forcing his wife and son to a difficult decision: when the man
dies, he turns out to be compatible for a heart transplant with Olivia,
at the death door herself. Natalia, despite all the hate she feels
towards the woman who tried in any way she could to steal her husband,
agrees to give Gus’ heart to her. Olivia is now safe and, as Natalia
will say in one of their many verbal clashes, has all that’s left
of Gus. A cold comfort for someone who wanted the man by her side.
In fact Olivia starts refusing meds, doesn’t follow prescriptions,
she openly declares that she doesn’t want to live and goes down a
self-destructive path. The sense of guilt for Gus’ death is too big,
even though she tries to hide it with sarcasm, for example in a phrase
she tells Natalia: “Oh yes,
God answered my prayers, didn’t he Natalia; yes he did! He sent me
a heart straight from the man that I loved, what a sick sense of humor
this good Lord of yours has, he must be laughing his head off!” Despite mutual repulsion, though, the
two women start to rely on each other, and when Rafe gets in trouble
for trying to avenge his father’s death, Olivia supports Natalia economically
and sentimentally. So to repay the kindness, Natalia starts to take
care of the other woman, fiercefully fighting against Olivia’s intent
to stop living. But Olivia’s heart keeps getting worse, so Natalia
begins helping her at work too, proving to be worth becoming miss
Spencer’s assistant. Olivia quickly realizes Natalia’s potential
and asks her to leave her job at Company (a restaurant managed by
Buzz Cooper, father of the detective Frank, who will have a big part
in the development of Otalia) and to help her running the Beacon,
her hotel. During one strife with Natalia, while trying to raise the
maid’s self esteem, Olivia has a heart attack: the next scene is fundamental
for the storyline because, for the first time, the viewer has the
impression to be seeing something more than a strong friendship –
even though the two, of course, still are unaware of it. Olivia undergoes another operation
and gets a peacemaker to regulate her heartbeat, after declaring her
will to live (much to Natalia’s satisfaction). At this point Natalia
suggests Olivia should move in her house so she can help her both
with health, and the woman’s little child Emma.
Besides some comprehensible quarrels
the two turn out to be very akin and end up developing a deep, tender
friendship, so strong that their living arrangement is defined as
“family”. This “couple” develops in an opposite way compared to the
standardized soap couples: the feeling is expressed in a way so that
the viewer perceives it as natural, innocent and – most importantly
– real. Then suddenly, almost one year after
the beginning of this complicated relationship, the two are forced
to face their mutual feelings through little Emma. The kid, innocently
inspired by her family, writes an essay for her school titled “my
two mommies”, which she reads during the family day in front of other
school parents. The reactions of the two women are completely different:
while Olivia tries – with funny and vain attempts – to deny to everyone,
maybe even to herself, that she’s in a lesbian relationship, Natalia
seems not to notice the shindig created by Emma, and only considers
the tender, deep aspect of said presentation. Trying to explain “with
actions” what everybody sees in them, an exasperated Olivia reacts
to the apparently naïve behavior of the other woman by passionately
kissing her, act which makes Natalia lose control completely (from
the beginning of the story, spring 2008, to this scene, more or less
ten months passed: the kiss aired on 01/19/09..well built!)
At first the two think they can control
the situation: only few people misunderstood, it seems pretty easy
to walk away with it through explanations. But something obviously
clicked in their minds so, again, both react in opposite ways: Olivia
starts to come to terms with a growing feeling she now comprehends;
Natalia for instance accepts the courtship of Frank Cooper; the man
is blindly and hopelessly in love with her and, at one point, she
even sleeps with him. Natalia is then crushed when she confesses to
a shaken Olivia that she slept with Frank, adding that it was horrible
because she’s not in love with him. Result? Phillip (Olivia’s ex husband and Emma’s
father) says he has no problem with the living arrangement and the
whole situation with Natalia. Despite this, Olivia pushes an overly
hesitant Natalia to accept Frank’s proposal, gets drunk to forget
her despair and searches for advice from a nun who, instead, openes
her eyes about the importance of log, despite the shape or form of
love. On march 30 Olivia, despite her pain,
asks Natalia to organize an engagement party: everyone can read the
hurt and desolation in Natalia’s face as the other woman fakes a non-existent
cheerfulness.
How is the story going to progress? Both actresses ensured the couple won’t
be written off (actually, Otalia prides itself with the honor of saving
the show from cancellation from CBS airtime) and that the story will
evolve. How, we’ll have to wait and see. One thing is sure: the love and mutual
respect is at such a level that it can’t be just ignored and, even
thought the word “lesbians” has never been used, imagination of old
and new fans started galloping. If it’s true that Olivia’s and Natalia’s
story is drawing new fans, it must be said that so far, surprisingly,
it still hasn’t risen any protest from religious associations which,
some time ago, vehemently criticized gay characters on “All my children”
and “As the world turns”: let’s hope this state of grace lasts! Want to know more? Keep coming back
here, on Paginerosa.tv! Links 03/30/2009 OTALIA WEEK 6/29-7/03 That’s for granted: it’s been really hard to keep
up with all the twists, turns and emotions of this “all Otalia” week
(5 days on 5, one surprise after another). Before I get started I
want to say, I know there are unpleasant things ahead for me to write,
especially because loyal fans of this wonderful couple will be reading.
I do know spirits got heated up quite a bit, and I fully comprehend
the variety of feelings born from what happened. Do remember, though,
that this is Soapland and anything can happen and, again, spoilers
are deliberately written to jumble, mislead, pump up heartbeats plus,
dulcis in fundo, create interest. Because this is what we’re talking
about: to appeal people curious to know how it’s going to end. Nobody
can convince me otherwise: just look at the sneak peeks in many soaps/TV
magazines, see how many suspension points here or there, often dropping
the phrase at the juiciest point. So let us stay calm, even at the
verge of losing it, breathe deeply (or count to ten: everybody has
a personal method) then sit comfortable and enjoy – in good and bad
fate – the beauty of a story which somebody is crafting in front of
our eyes (and why not, hearts too). I don’t know how, nor why, but
I’m sure this month will push Otalia not adrift like many expect,
but towards a final realization, a reciprocal reinforcement. Feel
free to come here, one month from now, and yell me “Toldja so”: for
now I prefer to think that challenges and pain are not laid out in
front of us for nothing, but –as Natalia Rivera once said – help us
become stronger people. MONDAY 29th We are back where we last were: Natalia splaying water over her face, wondering what’s happening (in the meantime, we too wonder whether it’s some Parkinson that she has: her hands tremble so much…are you anxious already? Chill out: breathe, inhale deeply, exhale…better? No?! sigh) at the table, meanwhile, Olivia brightens the scene with her sparkling happiness (and beauty: let me say this, Crystal is divine these days!) even Buzz compliments her, telling he hadn’t seen her so happy in years (and we don’t dare think what’s about to happen, right? Right??). When Natalia comes back from the restroom, Olivia worries about her pallor. She gently helps her sit next to herself then, while caressing her face and looking with adoring eyes, asks what’s wrong: Natalia answers it’s probably just stress
(one small digression:
these two women have no problem
whatsoever touching, caressing, practically flirting in public
but when alone at the Beacon or farmhouse, they literally don’t know
where to put their hands or how to behave with each other. Now, I
wonder: it never occurred to the writers – don’t misunderstand me:
long live Jill Lorie Hurst and Ellen Wheeler! – that such a behavior
is at least weird, especially for a soap opera ‘supercouple’? I’m
not saying to go all the way and make it sensual, God forbid – we almost put that thought
aside – but at least a kiss! Come on, a peck on the cheek, we’re not
asking much! Is it possible for two women who love each other so much
not to express it somehow? Otalia’s desexualisation has become, unfortunately,
one of the main arguments of the opposers, the ones affirming that
Otalia is over, lost in this limbo of uncertainty and goofyness. I
won’t say defeatists are right, but I find such a plot weird – in
direct contrast with the actresses’ masterly, emphatic performance,
so terribly physical in how they interact – and hope, after so much
waiting, angst, that there will be some leveling off, some resemblance
to the wonderful episodes that got us hooked up so hopelessly, between
October 2008 and April 2009. We’d be contend even just like that!) Meanwhile, at Frank’s
place, Rafe plays “who wants to be a millionaire” , torturing the
man with questions like “Do you blame my mother for breaking up the
wedding or do you blame Olivia for breaking up the wedding?”, “You
don’t blame Olivia then”, “Are you trying to tell me if Olivia wasn’t
in the picture you wouldn’t be the first person to swoop in and try
to get my mother back?” (I take back what I said some weeks ago: Rafe
is not simply a pain in the ass, no. He’s a douchebag, and Red Death
could, I think, take him as an assistant) Saint Frank is visibly uncomfortable
but upon hearing Olivia’s name you see resentment painted on his face:
no matter how much he denies, he blames it all on her. (absurd: for once Olivia truly did nothing wrong, she
was willing to give up everything to make Natalia happy, and
people still pester her. Holy rock casting saints!) Natalia, on her part, is dealing with Fr. Ray, camped in her kitchen with the excuse of picking up cookies she prepared for a sale. (last time she did so, a hormonal storm washed over Springfield: let’s hope for the best!) Seeing her rather flustered,
he asks Natalia how she’s going: she says it’s just some uneasiness,
probably due to stress about Rafe and his refusal to spend his birthday
with her. She then adds her son now lives with Frank, and things it
could be a good thing (If she thinks so…). Fr Ray wastes no time and
presses the woman; maybe she’s sick not because her son wasn’t with
her but because of the reason why. After a request not to bring
the subject up (she’s visibly tired), the priest – with infinite charity – can’t help himself but insist: “Your life choices
are putting a conflict not only with Church, but with your son”
(Life choices? Live choices?? Why, being gay now is a choice? Ah,
I didn’t know that. Gotta update my database) Like a pitbull, never
letting go of its prey, he continues his closing address while following
Natalia to the living room: “Though I’m sorry, it’s just not gonna
go away Natalia” Nat: “Ok. You believe
one thing, and I believe something completely different now. I just
don’t believe God is judging me because I love someone” Fr. Ray: “What about
the problems it’s bringing in your life, starting with your son?” Nat: “Are you suggesting
to me that I pretend that I don’t have feelings for Olivia because
it would make my life a little bit easier? My life would have been
a lot easier if I had given Rafe up for adoption! Just because something’s
easier, it doesn’t mean it’s right. So no, Father Ray. The decisions
I’ve made I feel have made me a stronger person. So if I’m sick or
if I’m a little run down I don’t believe it’s because of the choices
I’ve made” (Way to go Natalia!
Even if it was your choice to sleep with Frank – we don’t know
whether you were imagining to be with someone
else or what. Maybe we’ll never know – and the consequences are
about to fall on you/us like rocks) Olivia, meanwhile, meets Doris, frustrated because she can’t tell her daughter about being gay.
Olivia tells she understands
why she never officially came put (Mayor Wolfe is famous for her crusades
in favor of a traditional family and “normality”) but that she’s surprised
Ashlee still doesn’t know. Doris answers she always waited for the
right moment, it just never came (that reminds me of a certain someone…).
Furthermore, she’s petrified by
the idea of somebody else telling her daughter: it would be impossible
to explain not just why she loves women, but also why she lied all
those years (right now, ad an idea of how many direction this storyline
could have taken floods my mind, I feel like hating CBS for
cancelling the show!!) After a patended Springfield
timewarp we are in the mini market with Olivia, who spots Rafe in
the cafeteria, comes near with the excuse of wishing happy birthday.
He tries to ignore her, but Olivia insists. Rafe: “Olivia don’t
do this, please. We’re not
friends, ok? I don’t like you” Olivia: “Alright,
alright, you don’t have to like me, but what you’re doing to your
mother is wrong” Rafe: “No, what YOU
are doing to my mother is wrong” Olivia: “Yeah well
your mother, she’s spent her entire life dedicated to you, taking
care of you, when you were in jail she was so miserable. She had this
calendar and she would mark off the days, every day that you were
gone. And all she wanted to do was spend your birthday with you and
you blew her off. So you can hate me all you want you, but maybe you
need to grow up a little bit and put her ahead for once” (Yes,
yes, yes! Come on, Olivia
freakin’ Spencer, show him what you got!!) Rafe: “Ok. Now, first
of all, almost everything that I’ve ever done has been for my mother
– knowing your history, Rafe, I’d just shut up. – And what about
the church, Olivia? When I was a kid she would drag me to mass every
single Sunday. Why? Because it was important to her. And now it’s
important to me […] and I’m worried about her, about what’s
going to happen when she has to answer to God” (right, we really
needed some Last Judgement) The boy rudely walks away. But, considering Olivia’s backbone just came back from its vacation, she simply can’t let go.
Olivia: “Ok, I’m
not gonna pretend I’m some expert in religion, but if your mother
can come to terms with this, why can’t you?” Rafe: “Because you
don’t get to do that, Olivia, you don’t get to pick and choose, you
don’t get to change the Church just to fit your needs, it’s selfish
“ Olivia: “Ok. Well,
your mother stood by you when you went to juvenile, she stood by you
when you were in prison so you’re gonna have to figure a way to get
past this” Rafe: “What if I
can’t?” Olivia: “Then I’ll
feel sorry for you. Would you rather spend your time judging your
mom, than loving her? I mean honestly, your reaction, it almost split
us up but we realized that what we have is important to us so I really
should be thanking you because in the end you made us stronger” Rafe: “I can’t believe
I’m having this conversation. Whatever…” Needless to say he leaves
without as much as a goodbye. Olivia, who looks satisfied anyway,
takes the chance to speak (as it usually happens in Springfield) with
Phillip’s voice mail, she leaves a message telling they need to talk
about Emma ASAP. Natalia and Blake are working together. While Blake walks away to take a call (how weird is it that she doesn’t have her voice mail on!) Natalia feels sick again.
Giving her a glass of
water, she then muses: “If I didn’t know you are together with
Olivia, I would say you’re pregnant” OH.MY.GOD.
TUESDAY 30th The episode starts with a dialogue between Olivia
and Frank, on a bench at the city park. Interesting to note how the
adjective “good” has been deflated lately: it seems deliberate that
every day someone has to say Frank is a “good man”. (not that I have
anything against it, but to be honest, it’s tiresome!). Not even Olivia
is immune unfortunately. Nonetheless, the dialogue contains some good
news (and God knows how much we need them!)
-
Frank doesn’t hate
Olivia,
-
He doesn’t want Rafe
to hate her and will try to make him pacify with his mother
-
He still loves Natalia
-
He knows Natalia
loves her
-
He doubts Olivia
is the right one for Natalia, not because she’s a woman, but because
she’s Olivia Spencer.
Olivia perfectly knows
she has quite a tumultuous past (unable to really and fully love someone
without setting boundaries, unable to give in to happiness, unable
to see love beyond physical intimacy: all the things she has now with
Natalia) and maybe she’s about to have that period of crisis every
soap character lives sooner or later. Meanwhile Natalia goes
to work with Blake, confesses she’s thrown up a couple of time that
morning, but she’s sure it must be indigestion, food poisoning at
most. (too many cookies and shots lately, Ms Rivera!). The other woman,
serious, asks whether it really couldn’t be that she’s pregnant. This
provokes a fit of laughter: “Possibility? That would be…amazing”
(yeah right laugh now while you still can) Blake, of course, explains she didn’t mean to insult Natalia, she knows her catholic faith is very profound. She’s perplexed though, Natalia was going to marry Frank, nowadays nobody gets to marriage without having sex before. Of course, Natalia’s dumbstruck look tells Blake she’s found a rarity. As if to justify herself, Natalia tells that her relationship to God is very important, but Blake stops her: “I get that. Well no actually I don’t get that, but I d respect that. I don’t think I could do it, I mean I just don’t think I could date someone without having sex – remember how good Blake is at getting things? Exactly.. – does this mean that you and Olivia…you haven’t had…sex? I mean, how would you know that that’s right for you, that you’re meant to be together?” Natalia starts to feel embarrassed, explicitly asks to change subject.
While they work Olivia
shows up, asking Blake to borrow Natalia for the day: Emma wants to
make a special treat for the fourth of July and needs help to do it.
Once they’re out of the room, Olivia advises Natalia she wants to
tell Phillip they’re going to show up together as a couple at the
Bauer Barbeque, but only after telling Emma they’re together. Natalia
worries about his reaction: what if Phillip doesn’t agree about telling
the little girl? Olivia is sure everything’s going to be ok: there’s
always gonna be someone who’ll criticize them but it doesn’t scare
her because now she’s happy
(and our hearts sink a little…don’t think about it, not yet, it’s
not Friday yet) After a short stop at
the mini market to buy ingredients – during which Natalia secretly
buys a pregnancy test – they go back to the farmhouse. (I need to stop a minute.
After these hard days, and after trying not to be influenced by articles,
spoilers, rumors, specs – NOT an easy task, mind you – I feel like
pointing out at least two things: first, the progressive separation
of the two main characters, one completely absorbed by her newly found
happiness; the other dragged in a spiral of anxiety apparently with
no solution but an escape from everything and everyone.
That’s a fact: Otalia can’t communicate anymore. Olivia can’t
see there’s something wrong with Natalia and doesn’t notice her partner’s
various signals; on the other side see Natalia unable to tell Olivia
first her doubts, then the truth – real or presumed. Secondly, I’d
like you to notice small details. They’re crucial in soaps. In Soapland
nothing happens without
reason and some event from months before can come back and weigh on
character even after a long period of time – and I’m not just talking
about the five-minute-long pity sex Natalia and Frank shared. So,
from now on follow my advice and look: look carefully. Pay attention
to random phrases. Hope I won’t mislead you, but I received the same
advice and I’m sticking to it. It kept me going until now…) Back to the episode! Olivia and Natalia arrive at the farmhouse, and find Phillip on the porch waiting for them. While Natalia goes inside and, unseen, takes the pregnancy test in the bathroom, Olivia discusses with her ex-husband about Emma and co-parenting: “You and I need to figure out how to respect each other because I need your help. Emma adores you and she needs you, and we need to be able to get along for her sake, so you need to mark your calendar off: her sweet sixteen, her prom, her graduation. I expect you to be there on each and every one” (I never got the chance to tell, but Phillip just found out he has an incurable disease, and therefore has only about three months to live – classic GL style – he hasn’t told anybody yet so imagine the effect of Olivia’s words on him). Olivia informs him that her and Natalia intend to speak with Emma and make her understand the true nature of their relationship. Phillip seems cool with it, as long as Emma doesn’t have problems and is happy. Olivia reassures him that the child lives in a positive environment. Finally, she says that
she’s going to go at the barbeque with Natalia, together. Both her and Phillip
know it’s going to turn more than a couple of heads, and Olivia asks
him not to let bad jokes be told when Emma, or Rafe and Frank are
around. Phillip promises he’ll have their backs and wonders whether
her and Natalia considered that someone might not agree with their
relationship. Olivia is confident: “I’m sure everything will be ok!”
she exclaims, smiling. In the meantime Natalia is waiting for the
result of the pregnancy test. She looks at herself in the mirror,
her eyes desperate. WEDNESDAY 1st - One of the hardest episodes to impartially comment,
believe me (even though I’ll try to keep some lighter parts, where
possible. So forget my need to write some sillyness, every now and
then. Even just to smile a bit). I must praise the writers’ ability
to frame parallel stories together delightfully, underlining complementary
feelings and situations. The burden of sadness weighing on our mind
during the last episodes is going to grow, even because of the dichotomy
of two different points of view, given by two opposite feelings: on
the one hand complete happiness (generated by absolute certainty) and, on the other, the darkest fear (generated by sudden
uncertainty). I’m sure you’ve already given the right feeling
to the right character. It’s not hard. Ready to go through an emotional
rollercoaster? If the answer is yes, then follow me. While Natalia is in the bathroom, painfully anxious
about the results of the pregnancy test, Olivia and Emma start preparing
the treat for the Bauer BBQ. Emma is thrilled at the idea of the
party, and her mother too seems enthusiast, ensuring it’ll be the
best BBQ ever. The child is astonished: “You always complain about
barbeques. You say it’s too hot, your feet hurt, and the food stinks.
Why you so into it this year?” Olivia’s answer – “Because I’m going
with my two favorite girls in the world!” – is a double-edged sword:
while it shows us Olivia finally at peace, happy, which makes us happy, considering
we are spectators of everything
happening and therefore of the hurricane about to crush against Otalia,
the sense of uneasiness given by the fact we know how things are going
to turn out grows, we wish it wouldn’t be like that but we’re completely
powerless. Meanwhile Natalia waits for the last
minute to pass, staring at her cellphone timer. Emma, worried for the absence of her
mommy nr. 2 knocks at the bathroom door and refuses to go back downstairs.
Olivia comes there too, worried about her partner’s health. Cornered,
Natalia has to come out before getting to look at the test (which
she throws into her purse). Once out, she reassures both Emma and
Olivia and goes with them to make the treat. While cooking, the little girl ask
Natalia to do with her the three-legged race. Olivia asks why she’s
not even taken into consideration, the kid answers with a joke (“No
offense, but Natalia is farter and I really want to win…” : how
fierce our Jellybean!) and suggests she runs with Rafe. Olivia looks
enthusiast: “Fine, fine. I wanna be on Rafe’s team.
You know that? I want us all, you and me and Natalia and Rafe
to be a team one day. Not just at the Barbeque, but everyday.” All three smile. When the cake is ready, Olivia asks
Emma to take it to the car. Once the girl is gone, she tells Natalia
that, while cooking, she thought about their situation: O: “We are a family. We do things together. Not that I know much about
the real kind of family thing, this is the first real bona fide experience
I’ve had” N: “Me too” O: “That’s how I know when we tell Emma, everything’s gonna be ok” N: “Olivia…” (a weak attempt to say something, but Olivia is too
happy to understand.) O: “It will be ok. Because she loves you so much and you love her, it
shows. I just know, I know it’s gonna be a great day tomorrow”
Natalia tries to smile and Olivia,
after blowing her a kiss (we’re getting better: it’s the first KISS
– would you believe it?? – in months…let’s hope it won’t be the last
until September), leaves the scene. She doesn’t know yet, but this is the
last time she’ll see the woman she loves. Natalia now can see the result of the
test: her expression says it all. At company, Olivia is glowing: first
Buzz, then Doris notice (who, I don’t know you, but to me seems to
have a huge crush on our dear Ms Spencer). Mayor Wolfe carefully listens,
somewhat surprised, while Olivia confides her that she and Natalia
intend to go to the Bauer BBQ together, as a couple, and they’re about
to explain to Emma the nature of their relationship (“We’ll tell
her tonight. But after that, she and I are gonna go spend the rest
of our lives together and being happy”. Please, somebody tell
Olivia she’s got the wrong context: this is a soap opera, not a Disney
cartoon, she should know that!! Never use absolutes: forever in Springfield is the rarest of
things. Maybe Olivia doesn’t know, considering she was born and grew
up in the island of St. Cristobal…) While Olivia speaks with Doris, Natalia
meets Blake and confides her she’s pregnant. The other woman offers
to take her to the hospital, to make sure with a serious test whether
it’s true or not. Here begins the hardest part: the juxtaposition
of the two stories becomes, ironically, the painful symbol of two
separating streets. The words of one woman clash against the actions
of the other. I ask just one thing though: keep calm and try to reason
considering every character’s peculiar feature. By doing so you might
comprehend (not to the point of sharing perhaps) some choice, no matter
how radical. Doris and Olivia joke about the various
reactions people are going to have when Olivia and Natalia will go
to the Barbeque together. Olivia explains Phillip will have their
backs, he has no problem with their relationship. The woman admits
she’s nervous about what people might say about them but jokes about
it because she’s sure everyone will understand she and Natalia are
a couple like all other “Except unlike half of them, we actually
like being together!”. Transpiring happiness, she tells Doris
she too might have what her and Natalia have. Ms. Wolfe doesn’t
seem persuaded: Doris: “Yeah, sure I can. And I
can also wear a size two…” Olivia: “Natalia and I weren’t looking
for this, it just happened. And now I can’t imagine my life without
her” The scene moves to Cedars: Natalia
is laying on a bed, staring at the ceiling, while Blake holds her
hand and a doctor takes a blood sample. WARNING!! What I ask to do now for the first
– but not last – time is look at the small details. What’s the first
thing to do, when about to take blood in a vial for analysis= you
label it with the name, right? Well, take a look at this photo: The arrows I obviously added for a
reason. The RED arrow shows the vial with Natalia’s
blood. How is it? Take a look. Yeah, you’re right, it’s not labeled, like all others on the same line and contrary to the others of the tray which
are labeled (follow the green line and you’ll get an example.) It might be an insignificant detail,
but:
1)
The nurse taking
the blood gives the idea she doesn’t recognize the vial, once put
in the tray
2)
In the previous episodes
Lillian, head nurse, complained about the disorganization in the analysis
lab and the fact that some vials were not labeled correctly
3)
Why show the tray
in a close-up (not even strategically placed, considering Jessica
Leccia’s huge belly) Think about this, people,
because I think in soaps nothing
is ever random. Back to us. While mute images of Natalia’s personal
trial run, Olivia’s enthusiast voiceover serves as a sad soundtrack:
“When we’re together it’s like things are how they are supposed
to be and I’ve never felt this way with anyone else” The descent to their very personal
circle of hell, for Otalia, has just begun: the doctor tells a distraught
Natalia that she really is pregnant, and quite some months along too
(ok: for someone who got pregnant on her first sexual experience,
Nat doesn’t really pay attention to certain things – and hasn’t got
that much luck, it seems! – how can she not have notices she’s more
than four months pregnant?). To establish exactly how many weeks along
she is, the doctor recommends a sonogram. Natalia, catatonic, listens as if things
were happening to someone else. When her phone rings the woman, fighting
back tears, answers trying to speak as normally as possible. It’s Olivia who’s calling, and immediately
realizes there’s something wrong and asks what it is to which her
partners reassures her. The woman then informs Natalia that
Emma is about to come back home and it would be great to organize
a family dinner, spend the night normally and, in then, talk to the
child. Natalia answers the idea is good but that evening she won’t
be home because something came up and she needs to fix it. Olivia
again asks whether there’s any problem and again Natalia reassures
her. Olivia then suggests they talk to Emma the next day, before going
to the Barbeque: O: “I’m really looking forward to walking in there together, you know,
like a real family, and I know I’m being a big cheeseball, but I’m
just so happy for us” N: “Me too” O: “Ok. Call me later. I love you” N: “I love you too” Only now can Natalia stop fighting
and cry all the tears she’s been holding back. THURSDAY
2nd Considering the estreme difficulty to resume
today’s and tomorrow’s episodes (as a good Otalia fan, believe me,
it’s almost an impossibile task!) I decided to limit my personal comments as much as
possible – as long as they’re not crucial, of course – and let the
reader think about actions and reasons motivating characters’ decisions.
I won’t however, forget to point out, where there are any, some small
details to let your mind ponder…furthermore, just to alleviate tension
a little, I’d ask again to let me make some jokes. Finally the so much awaited 4th of
july arrives: at the Beacon, Emma can’t wait to go and presses her
mother, saying she wants to go soon and not miss any of the games
organized at the Bauer’s. Olivia merrily answers she’s not gonna miss
any of the fun, but she has to wait for Natalia. Emma asks why her
mom is so happy, to which she answers: “Because this is going to
be a very special day for our family” At the farmhouse, Natalia is not ready
to go out: in a big grey robe, sitting in front of some food she’s
not eating, she reads and re-reads a brochure about helping groups
for pregnant women – and, like the first page says, in difficulty.
(Natalia is most probably living a déjà-vu: being sixteen again, pregnant
after her first encounter with a man, Natalia had abandoned by everyone:
Gus, her sweetheart, and her family, unable to accept the “sin” committed
by their daughter. We can imagine the magnitude of the turmoil shaking
her now: it mustn’t be easy) When Natalia’s phone rings, she already
knows who’s calling: Olivia wonders whether she’s getting ready. The
woman, in fact, not just can’t hold back Emma’s exuberance, but she
to is thrilled at the idea that, after the BBQ, they’ll finally be
able to be together, a couple like many others. Natalia, her skin almost as grey as
her robe, apologizes to her partner: she’s going to run late a doesn’t
think she can stop at the Beacom before going to the Bauers. O: I thought we were gonna talk to Emma… N: Well you know, you said she was in a rush to get there, and I really
don’t her missing out on anything because of me O: No, but I really wanted to her before we show up together N: Well, we can’t show up together if I’m running late O: Ok, alright, we’ll just find some time at the barbeque then N: Yes, we will tell her then. So, uh, I’ll see you guys there O: Ok. This is it, you know? Tonight we’re gonna be together, we’ll
be family and, um, you and I won’t need to wait anymore N: Hey. Alright, let me get going. O: Ok. I love you N: I love you too. Bye. (Another crucial point: Olivia doesn’t
know, but this is the last time
she speaks to the woman she loves. After this call, every other contact
between the two will be via somebody else, no more verbal exchanges
nor possibilities to meet for them. We should resign ourselves to
the bitter direction this storyline is taking, and to the idea that
Natalia is about to take a difficult decision, which will leave many
people dumbstruck, if not other because her declarations of trust
in her partner seem to be
dropped miserably. On the reason why she decides to act that way,
we’ll reason in tomorrow’s episode: the definitive goodbye) Natalia ends the call, takes her head
in her hands, sighing deeply. Later on she meets Blake on the street:
the writer notices her assistant is not feeling well. She asks whether
Natalia spoke with Frank, or Olivia: she says she hasn’t, and Blake
is very concerned about it. But Natalia is in a hurry: she’s meeting
Olivia at the barbeque later on, and still needs to do some things
before that. After reassuring Blake one more time, she goes away. At the Bauers’, Olivia and Emma meet
Phillip. Emma runs away to play, while Phillip
compliments Olivia: she’s a good mother and it’s evident, given her
daughter’s happiness. He asks his ex-wife whether her and Natalia
already spoke with Emma. Olivia says they haven’t: they’ll do that
during the barbeque. Natalia, at the mini-markt, is buying
the last things for the 4th july party, when she sees some infant
accessories (strangely put next to the fridges: how are aisles organized??).
Needless to say the emotion, so strongly and obstinately kept at bay
now takes the lead: the woman starts to cry while looking at the plushes. And of course, who should show up at
the mini-markt? Saint Frank! The good
man, thanks to his refined detective senses, notices immediately
there’s something wrong, but Natalia immediately denies (and he accepts
the explanation without investigating further…), she turns down his
offer of a drive to the Bauers, saying she still has some things to
do. (I forgot: knowing the viewers could go into withdrawals, writers
decided to insert in the dialogue between Natalia and the Saint the
usual refrain we anxiously wait for in every episode: “Thanks for being such a good man” …no comment…) At the barbeque, the party has definitely
started. Between water balloons, laughs and jokes near the swimming
pool, everyone is having fun. Everybody notices Olivia’s happiness,
and it becomes the main object of discussion. They can really note how fizzy and
helpful she is, serene and positively interacting with other people:
a radical change, noticed most of all by those who have been gone
from Springfield for a long time and only knew the “old” Ms Spencer. (I start what I’ll call a “mundane”
digression. Is it possible to track down the wardrobe assistant’s
name? The one in charge to study
Olivia’s clothing these episodes? I don’t believe in violence, but
the responsible for such a havoc needs to be punished with an appropriate
torture for the visual agony we are experiencing. Why was it decided
to dress Crystal Chappell like a penniless American visiting Rome?
Those capri trousers, tennis shoes
with no socks and – sacrilege - no heels,
practically nullified her ankles and made her calves look like the
ones of a football player! The tight shirt – nothing to complain –
tucked in the trousers and covered by a short denim jacket shortens
her figure even more, making her a pandemonium of not matching colors
randomly moving at the swimming pool’s border…so alright, Guiding
Light’s budget is like those of Southern America’s TV products, but
why focus all efforts on Olivia? Maybe because in these ten years
she’s been the one with the most expensive wardrobe? Or maybe because,
that day, Crystal Chappell was the only one not to take clothing directly from home? An unresolved mystery…) Olivia has the chance to speak with
Frank: she thanks him for bringing Rafe to the barbeque (the man,
definitely kinder towards Olivia than he was the previous days, answers
that the boy came by his own will) and emphasizes it’ll make Natalia
really happy. Frank hints he saw her previously and Natalia ensured
she was going to be there soon: Olivia is happy and reaffirms how
happy she is to be celebrating Independence Day. Natalia, instead, is not going to the
Bauer barbeque: she’s in Church praying, when suddenly Fr Ray approaches
her. The man asks why she’s not at the barbeque and she abruptly asks
something astonishing: N: Is it a bigger sin to love a
woman or to have slept with a man outside of marriage? In front of the priest’s stunned silence,
she continues: N: I’m pregnant. And I don’t know
if God is trying to punish me because I love Olivia or trying to tell
me that I should have married Frank…or both… (Do notice that, in both cases, the
one losing out would be Olivia. A moot point, but what can you do
about it. It’s still good to see that Natalia repeats – and will continue
to repeat – constantly that she’s in love with Olivia, and doesn’t
even start to hint at any affectionate relationship with Frank: she’d
go back with him only for the child’s sake. So in the long run, she’d
be losing out too: forced to leave the true love of her life and be
with a man she doesn’t love just because it’s the “lesser evil”. Moot
point as well, but worth debating) Fr Ray is definitely upset (and so
are we, honestly), at least judging by the bizarre position of his
eyebrows. Natalia refuses a call from Olivia
and continues her confession: N: I just can’t even think straight, I can’t talk to her right now. Fr.R: I don’t think God is punishing you, or telling you you should
have married Frank. N: Olivia and I had just decided we were gonna tell Emma and then we
were gonna go to the barbeque together, and then this happened and
I can’t believe this could be coincidence, you know, I think it must
mean something Fr.R: I agree. It happened for a reason. N: What? Fr.R: If I knew, I would tell you. But the road to that answer is a
journey you are gonna have to take by yourself. N: I saw Frank before, and I just couldn’t tell him and the thought
of telling Olivia and…I don’t know what to do. I just don’t know what
to do Fr.R: Look. Maybe you should go away for a while, for yourself, and
try to figure things out. N: That just sounds like running away Fr.R: No, running towards something.
Get yourself to a place of peace, when you find it, you’ll know what
to do. At the barbeque, in the meantime, Olivia
and Phillip share a chat: P: I could stand here all day and watch this: everybody so happy, just
having fun O: Yeah, it’s a good day P: Natalia here yet? O: No, but she will be here soon. P: She really makes you happy O: Yeah. For the first time in a
while I can’t wait for tomorrow to be here. You know what I mean? Phillip nods and Olivia smiles. But WE are totally not happy of what
tomorrow will bring... JULY 3rd This is the
episode we all knew was coming, the one we’ve waited with trepidation
and a bit of resentment for the direction of events. Many speculated
of how they could make Natalia leave Springfield without necessarily
shredding Olivia to pieces, leaving her deadly injured and making
Natalia look like a heartless coward. No need to burn brain cells
trying to find alternative finales: the decisions were made at least
four months ago and the scenes shot four to six weeks before airing:
no matter how we’re feeling, I hope the writers took that into account,
and wish it’ll be a prelude for an at least acceptable august. Before beginning
the review I need to underline something important: throughout the
whole episode, more times, Olivia will call Natalia, finding always
the voice mail. Like hinted yesterday, from now on for Olivia, besides
the agony of a sudden separation, there will be the painful doubt
about the causes, fomented by the impossibility to speak with Natalia
and solve the problem (personally I think this is the weak point of
the storyline: Natalia perfectly knows Olivia has a strong personality,
because this is what she loves about her, and that she could have
reasoned with her to find a solution. The decision to leave, so, seems
to alter or nullify many of the goals achieved by the two while building
their relationship) Natalia is still in the church: like
always, she lights candle while praying. Father Ray comes close and tells her
that, in this case, lighting candles won’t be enough. Natalia feels
like she has to go: she promised Olivia to go to the barbeque and
doesn’t want to delay further. Father Ray, who we know descends from
pitbulls, mentions the retreat again (and we immediately wonder whether
it’s purposeful or just disinterested compassion for Natalia’s case…mmm:
it’s logical to have doubts) He knows – can you imagine? – a retreat
at a convent which might just be the right thing, nuns would be glad
to host Natalia. The woman is annihilated: she can’t believe something
like that happened to her. N: Everything was going really well Fr.R: Was it? N: What do you mean? Fr.R: Think about it. You find out you’re pregnant right before you
and Olivia are about to announce to the world that you’re a couple?
(No comment. This is circumvention of a
person of unsound mind! You can’t say that in front of someone deeply
shocked and who admitted she doesn’t know what to do. That’s a very
bad impression for your category, Fr. Ray…) N: I know, then Frank… Fr.R: you’re having a baby with Frank. You’re gonna have to deal with
that N: I know. I just don’t know why
everyone has to get hurt… Father Ray insists on the retreat like
it’s the solution of all problems. Natalia thanks him: she understands
he only acts for her good (you sure?), but for her this means running
and she doesn’t want to hurt Olivia like that. At this point,
the priest launches his last attack: Fr.R: Listen if Olivia loves you,
if she really, really loves you, she won’t be afraid to let you go
for a while. Or are you the one who’s afraid? Maybe you’re worried
that if you’re not around Olivia your feelings for her will change.
Is that why you’re so anxious about leaving? Natalia seems to seriously consider
the priest’s consideration. Outside the Church, Natalia meets Blake,
who asks her how things are going. Natalia answers that, normally,
praying comforts her in moments of confusion. This time, though, it
didn’t go like that: N: Blake, I’m pregnant with the
baby of the man that I didn’t marry and I’m in love with my best friend.
My son doesn’t want to talk to me…I have to go. I think I’m leaving
town. B: Wait a minute! You can’t…say
you’re gonna do something like that and than do it! N: So what do I do if I stay here B: I don’t know, I know that you
have to tell Frank, and you need to talk to Olivia N: I can’t, I’m too ashamed, I don’t
know how to talk to Frank, I don’t know what I would tell Olivia In that moment, as if feeling called
upon, a very worried Olivia calls Blake. Natalia gestures she doesn’t
want her partner to know she’s there. Olivia is preoccupied and wants
to make sure Blake didn’t give Natalia an assignment, accepts the
writer’s reassurances on the fact that Natalia will surely show up
at the barbeque. When Blake hangs up, Natalia immediately asks about Olivia: N: How is she? B: She seems good. Actually, she’s
looking for you. Natala walks away after promising Blake
to call her later on. At the barbeque, Olivia is not the
only one missing Natalia: Emma is sad because her other mommy had
promised to run the three-legged race with her and didn’t show up.
Olivia justifies the woman: “She’s
late but she’s gonna get here, ok? She has to”. Maybe, doubt starts
to haunt her. Later on as she fights with a picnic blanket, which has absolutely no intention
do fold like it should, Josh gets near Olivia and jokingly asks what
that blanket could possibly have done to be treated so bad. Olivia
plays along and answers the blanket did nothing: she only wishes the
day would have gone differently. J: There’s still a lot of this day left, I mean, there’s speeches, fireworks,
that kind of things. O: Alright. Ok. You’re right, and it’s not over yet. I’m just being…me J: How did you want this day to be? O: Perfect. But Nat..alia— At this point Olivia realizes she said too much, so she tweaks the wording
by saying Emma wanted to run the three-legged race with Natalia, but
the woman didn’t show up. She hates to see her daughter disappointed,
that’s all. J: Still lot of games to play. Don’t
give up hope. (Attention: small detail, very important. I don’t think Josh refers just to Emma.
I think this phrase is a sort of warning, a small clue. Like you well
know, in soaps nothing happens without reason: be it actions, or words…) At the farmhouse, Natalia meets Rafe. The boy left the barbecue because unwilling to think his mother and Olivia
might show up as a couple and behave like one in front of everybody. N: You just bailed? R: No. I mean ma I tried. But I just kept thinking I’d turn around
and see you guys holding hands or something. Ma, I don’t know if I
can deal with that. Ma, I don’t get it. Alright? I don’t get you and…Olivia.
I’m sorry, this whole thing has me a little confused, you know N: That makes two of us In the house, the speech continues (strange enough, Rafe doesn’t notice
Natalia brought to the living room a suitcase. Doesn’t he even think
something bad is happening?) R: Just wanted to see if you’re gonna show up at all. ‘cause I wanna
be able to be prepared if you and Olivia are gonna… N: We’re not. R: Ok. All my life you tried to guide me and even though I may not have
always lived up to standards, or to your standards, I needed
them. And that’s kind of what makes this whole thing so hard to accept.
I’m sorry if I let you down. N: You can never let me down Rafe R: You know I love you ma, even if I don’t like everything that you’re
doing. Natalia doesn’t answer: the look on her face is really sad. Rafe leaves
(again, not noticing the suitcase his mom has next to her. Not the
smartest tool in the shaft, eh?) At the barbeque, Blake approaches Olivia B: Olivia, I have a message for you from Natalia. She’s not coming.
I mean she can’t. O: Is everything ok? Where is she? B: She doesn’t want to see you right
now (Olivia of course is shocked by the
assertion: it’s a real bolt from the blue. We can only imagine the
variety of hypothesis tied up in bundles in her head. And how can
you blame her, when tears immediately show up in her eyes? The doubt
she’s been having, and maybe she’s been fighting back all day, now
becomes real and painfully true O: did something happen? B: You know what? She’s gonna have to tell that yourself.. O: No Blake, come on! Don’t do that B: No Olivia, I’m sorry. I’m really
sorry. While Blake walks away, Olivia’s defenses
start to crumble. So here is the end. Hold on tight,
because the nosedive ahead of us, I can assure, will take our breath
away. Partly, the success is to be attributed to the skills of both
actresses (foremost, undoubtfully, Crystal Chappell, who in these
episodes shows to be a powerhouse actress, and seems to be wasted
for a soap opera! During the dialogue with Blake her face expresses
perfectly every feeling felt by her character, letting us feel the same turmoil
Olivia is feeling. If this is not pure art, I don’t know what is…)
but we need to pay justice to whom created the story: even though
I don’t like the direction it’s taking, you just have to appreciate
the style and mastery with which it’s told, the perfection of dialogues,
shots and editing. Natalia sits outside the farmhouse:
she’s crying. A car pulls by, stops and Blake comes
out of it. B: Are you sure? N: Yes B: Alright. Let’s go inside and
get you packed. Olivia runs to an isolated place, far
from the looks everyone else. She tries in vain to calm down, breathing
deeply. Fear, anxiety and pain, though, are too strong: she curls
up on the floor and gives vent to her tears, desperate. Other images of the people invited,
cheerful and happy, overlap the ones of a car leaving, with no possibility
of turning back and a woman whom somebody, with no
apparent reason, caused a heartbreak. From Monday on, of Otalia, only Olivia
will remain: let’s hope GL can give us more moments of top acting
like in this week and make justice to this “beautiful
and broken” heroine.
OTALIA Thinking about the week
of july 29th. “Then I’d say walk away,
she’s gonna break your heart”
We all try to forget that phrase thrown by a bartender
to Olivia, in a distant episode of march, but it’s useless, I’ve repeated
this far too many times these weeks: nothing in a soap happens without
a reason. Now we’re looking for a reason, desperately searching for
an explanation for what happened. I’ll forego the anger of watching
powerless the triumph of “het” happiness against the agonizing pain
of the downfall of the “gay” relationship (barbecue docet). I’ll try
not to think about the resentment of watching yet again the stereotype
gay = suffering, so cheekily illustrated. It would be useless to torture
your brain to find a decent explanation and you might burn out, not
able to control what you’re feeling. I don’t want to do that, I want
to be better than who offended so greatly a big part of the audience,
on who spits on the plate he’s eating from. So I’ll look beyond that: psychology of the character
and techniques of soap opera, I’ll try to study with you a plausible
explanation for what happened, without thinking that I’m very pissed.
What’s done it’s done: not much you can do about it, it seems. So let’s peacefully begin. I postponed up to now the analysis of Natalia’s
“escape”, because I needed to think about what happened and the rebounds
of events on the character’s psyche and in order to do so, I went
way back in GL’s history. Let’s go on step by step.
THE ESCAPE - If it can comfort you, Natalia is
not the first one to run in front of bad news. People who know and
follow GL from a very long time will probably remember that Vanessa
Chamberlain (who, with Matt Reardon, was one of GL’s supercouples
in the mid ’90) ran from Springfield without any hint of where she
might be and - most of all - not telling her husband, after receiving
the news to be severely ill. In that occasion, the diagnosis was wrong and
the woman had run, if I’m correct, in Switzerland, but the matter
doesn’t change. The need to remove an actor from the scenes, sometimes,
ignites a dramatic and unexpected turn of events: practically, every
soap’s manna. Otalia’s storyline might not culminate with a
wedding but, probably, will follow the standard route of all other
supercouples: the initial frienemies stage, getting close, falling
in love, contrasts/problems/sensational developments, separation,
more misfortunes (for one of the couple or both) , reconciliation,
happiness. Our couple is missing only the last two steps
(besides the so much longed – and improbable? – kiss, and at least
one scene of intimacy between the two, which I think we’ll never have
the grace to see! For those, there’s thousands of fanfics wonderfully
written: contact me and I’ll give you some links to visit!) I know, disappearing with no trace is not exactly
nowadays’ Natalia philosophy,
you know the woman who allegedly said to be “tired of waiting”, who convinced a very restive Olivia to start a
relationship, the one who declared to her son that loving Olivia wasn’t
“strange”, it was simply “love” and who stood up to Fr. Ray quoting
the Bible, to show that love is love,
whichever shapes it might have. We have to admit thought that escape, for Natalia,
means always a way to hide
things from herself: do I need to remember you that she ended up sleeping
with Frank as a reaction to all the feelings surfacing after Olivia’s
kiss? Wasn’t that an escape from the feeling she perfectly
knew she felt but which couldn’t accept?
Let’s try to see it this way, or we’ll end up
hating the character. In our search for a reason
that makes sense, we have to take into consideration that Natalia
has one big, huge weak point: her religion. When she was pregnant
with Rafe, her faith in God and the comfort she found in religion,
the stability more than other, sustained her, taking the place of
the family which had abandoned her. Now, after fighting to affirm her liberty to love
Olivia (and she did so in every way possible, like a real freakin’ superhero, never taking it back),
she finds herself tested by that God with whom she thought she’d come
to piece with. Paradoxically, she seems to confide only in who represents Him and doesn’t search for answers straight
from Him: it’s this relying on a third party concept that leads her
to go away, following the advice to “search for inner peace”. Everything that happens to her, she lives like
a test: she needs to be
alone in order to confront herself with God, the Being which, her
own admission, she considers a sort of best friend. In this case,
the escape assumes a much deeper meaning: it’s moving away to decide
what to do with her life by herself: not Olivia, nor Frank can help her (or, at least, that’s what
Natalia declares to think). Up to her, no problem: being alone doesn’t
imply breaking somebody’s heart. It’s the way Natalia decides to do
so, if something, that leaves a mark: she literally lost herself,
her foothold (religion, love, family) is completely gone. The way
she decides to leave the scenario is typical of someone who doesn’t
know what to do and decides on the spot (remember? Had it not been
for Blake, she’d have left right after her last chat with Fr. Ray…if
that’s not losing any ability to rationalize, I don’t know what that
is…). And this brings us to the second point.
SILENCE -
Let’s try, now, to understand Natalia and her silence, because
this is much harder to do and requires a good dose of patience. Natalia, I think, doesn’t say a word to Olivia
because, just like Vanessa before, she’s petrified
by the consequences a news like that would surely have on the relationship
with the woman she loves. Let’s not forget, in fact, that “The only thought of telling Olivia…” takes
her breath away. She’s probably
pregnant with the child of a man she refused to marry exactly in order
to explore her love for her best friend. Analyzing the behavior towards her partner, we
must note the small attempts made
by the woman to tell Olivia that something is, in fact, going
on. When, after cooking the rice krispies with Emma,
the two are left alone in the kitchen of the farmhouse, Olivia expresses
her joy towards the fact that, after sitting the child down and having
“the talk” with her, they’ll finally be a family. At that point, Natalia
whispers a weak: “Olivia…”.
Olivia can’t hear the plea in that simple word, probably she thinks
Natalia is worried about Emma’s reaction to the news, so she reassures
her: “It’s going to be ok” So what does Natalia do? She steps back.
Again. And she choses
silence: a behavior difficult to understand for us, but not alien
to her story and very typical of her character’s psychology, actually. Natalia chose silence in many occasions and for various reasons:
·
When she contacted
lawyer Vince Russo to defend Rafe and decided to go through that all
by herself, even accepting to pay with sexual favors in exchange for
his service, for her daughter’s safety (in that occasion Olivia promptly
took action, after hearing about the “deal” from Buzz: how can we
forget her heated “Back off!”?):
attempt to put something right by herself;
·
When she couldn’t
immediately say she accepted Olivia’s offer to be her personal assistant
(talking to herself, after Ms Spencer had stormed off, she said: “I wasn’t gonna say no…”): little trust in herself;
·
In many occasion
she declared that she “wasn’t
ready to face the subject” (situation which repeated more and
more times, here and there in Otalia’s storyline, always relating
to the romantic evolution of the story between the two women or the
hoax between Natalia and Frank): fear to take a stand/ fear of her own feelings;
·
As a reaction to
sleeping with Frank (in that occasion, after some exhausting moments
of obstinate silence and sudden resentment, after confessing to Olivia,
she got as an answer “Why did
you have to tell me this?” Probably, right there silence would
have been the best thing): fear
to hurt Olivia;
·
After almost kissing
Olivia at the hospital (she masked what she was thinking with a “Hey,
you’re awake!”): fear of her feelings for Olivia;
·
After having second
thoughts about the wedding, when she decided to give back the wedding
dress (“I can’t have the one
thing I want because it’s selfish and wrong”, she yells to Olivia.
And what is selfish and wrong? The fact that you’re in love with your
best friend, of course. Even then, despite the obvious subject of
her statement, Natalia says nothing): fear
of her feelings for Olivia;
·
After the engagement
party organized by Olivia (Natalia thanks her friend for the touching
speech, hiding the fact that truth was there, in front of her eyes,
and that she had understood it clearly): fear
of her feelings for Olivia;
·
During throughout
the evolution of her story with Olivia (Natalia, reached by Olivia
in the Gazebo, after declaring her that she’s in love with her, says
that what she heard at Gus’ grave hadn’t “surprised
her too much”. Natalia knew about Olivia’s feelings and, most
of all, knew about her own
feelings for Olivia. But, she remained silent. Always): fear
of her feelings for Olivia;
·
After running at
the altar (remember? It was Olivia who justified Natalia’s action
explaining to Frank that she didn’t feel ready because her heart “still belongs to Gus”): fear to hurt Frank and the Cooper clan;
·
It might seem a useless
detail, but even when she convinces Olivia to go to church with her,
Natalia says nothing about the reason behind such a gesture. It’s
Olivia who has to ask for an explanation;
·
For weeks after the
wedding that never was, Natalia will never find the courage to tell
Frank (letting other people and circumstances let him understand the
truth): fear to hurt Frank;
·
Once Rafe is out
of prison, Natalia will never find the right moment to tell him the
truth about her relationship with Olivia (it’s by coincidence that,
against his will, the boy finds out): fear
to hurt Rafe.
After all this, is it so impossible that Natalia
might choose complete silence? Let’s think about it: silence, running away,
are a way for her to preserve the person she mostly cares about from
pain. The psychological immaturity of the character is evident: it’s
on this that we must reason. Letting events, the evidence of facts,
give explanations for her behavior is, all things considered, Natalia’s
modus operandi. And, after all, it’s what she’s doing with Olivia
now. The relationship between the two women, though, is so strong
(Natalia herself once declared that she feels intertwined with Olivia,
as if they were one person) that every word, now, couldn’t add anything
to what Olivia surely knows already: Natalia is in a deep crisis,
Natalia wants / needs to get out of it by herself. I like to think that, in her own way, Natalia
is going through some kind of evolution (we know so little of her
backstory): if for Olivia it’ll be “public suffering”, because shown
on screens, who can say that Natalia isn’t undergoing the same kind
of pain alone in her retreat? It’s certainly like that and, certainly,
upon her return to Springfield she’ll have to put a remedy to what
her silence has destroyed along the way. Finally, she will have to
speak. Vanessa got in touch with Matt (who believed her
dead) only by chance, without
realizing what had happened. We, for instance, know that Natalia will come
back on her own volition and it won’t be a chance
if Olivia will be there, asking her to take responsibility for her
actions (real pregnancy or not) and Ms Rivera, at that point, will
finally have a sure answer. And if the finally will only be “hopeful” and not “fabulous”, like everybody wishes, we will at least be sure that we
witnessed a “voyage”, a personal
growth, Natalia’s growth, told with unusual mastery.
links: E'
severamente vietato riprodurre il contenuto di questa pagine. Ogni abuso
sarà punito. |
